The other day, Friar said, “Cubicles are here to stay.”
I thought, So what?
If you believe in cause and effect, action and consequence, in the power to decide for yourself, that where you are is a result of the choices you’ve made…then this is what I know for sure:
You are not destined for anything that isn’t of your own choosing. Even when it seems that others are dictating your life, remember this: our greatest gift is the power to create. If a single butterfly’s wings can change the course of nature, surely we can change the course of our own lives, whatever the circumstances.
“So what?” indeed… keep believing what you wrote, Steph. We are where we are because of choices we’ve made. We will go where we will be because of choices we will make.
The small choices may make all the difference – remember my email about the shoes. I wonder where that will lead – but I bet it will be great!
I think so too!
But it also made me think that we can manipulate situations in which we feel stuck. Colin’s package dilemma may change into opportunity if we can trust in our ability to bend the circumstances…
Steph – most definitely. That is the way to look at your circumstances – it is an opportunity. Most people wouldn’t see it that way. But it is a chance to really try something crazy.
I’ve often said, “beware the man who has nothing to lose” and it is the absolute truth.
What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail, or if you knew that the result of doing nothing would be worse than doing something – doing anything?
That’s what I said to Colin. There’s a 50-50 chance he’ll either get the package or not. I think it’s actually worse if he doesn’t get laid off because otherwise he’ll just go down with the ship and get nothing and then we’ll really be screwed. With the package at least he’ll have about 5 months, full-time, to look for a job and change his (our) circumstances.
Anyway, I said to him, we have to look at this as opportunity, and also be confident that they will actually let him go, even be thankful for it. We’re scared they won’t let him leave, which they can do. But I hate the feeling of being stuck and at the mercy of these people. He cannot stay there, for his health and sanity. They’ve been playing games with him for a couple of years. So I’m going to believe in the power of faith that everything will go as we need and want it to. I have to.
No shortage of drama here!
@Steph
Hey, thanks for the Link Love! (You’ve been giving me a lot lately!)
I had also written in that post: “Life’s not fair…deal with it”.
And cubicles, among other things, can be included in part of Life’s Unfairness.
Like you say, it’s up to us to decide how to deal with them.
Friar, my dear, I’m happy to give you link love!
The thing is, I don’t believe life is unfair. Shit happens, for sure, but it’s not that it’s happening of its own accord. Life is only unfair if we make it so, if we believe it is.
People, yes. People can be very unfair. (They can be dealt with, too.) But to say life is unfair makes you a victim of it rather than an active participant in it.
Everything will go as you need and want it to go. It truly is what you make of it.
Life isn’t fair or unfair, it just “is” (I know that you know that).
I know from personal experience hanging on to a job long after the company became insolvent and they stopped paying me. I could have and should have left before that happened, but it was too easy to keep going to work in spite of it being toxic.
Once I actually quit, I had no choice but to act.
(As a side note, an interesting thought experiment for anyone not in that situation but who wants to change – ask yourself, “what would I do if I knew my job was ending in a month?” – then make a list, and follow it. You might be surprised at what you can do.)
Steph
I didn’t mean to describe life being unfair as a victim. Actually, I meant the opposite.
Sometimes we (the proverbial “We”) expect expect things should work out certain way. We expect to always get what we want.
And when things don’t, we might waste a lot of energy getting angry and indignant, like someone OWES us something. We’re due for some good luck, we say.
It doesn’t work that way. You can be going through a very bad phase, just when you’re down and out and can’t take it anymore, something suddenly WORSE happens. A family member dies, or you lose your job, etc.
Or bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. Kids die of cancer. Hard working people lose their homes while CEO’s get bonuses.
Dosen’t seem fair. But that’s Life. It’s not personal…nobody has it out for us.
It’s just that Shit Happens…constantly, randomly.
We can’t control THAT, but we CAN control how we deal with it.
That’s what I was trying to get at.
Fair is in the eye of the beholder, no? I remember when the kids were little and it was matter of letting the first one divide the cookie and the second one get to choose which half.
Like you, I believe we make our own future, and that we an create self-fulfilling prophesies with negative messages. Pete is fond of saying, “Oh, that’s too good for us.” I always retort, “No, it’s NOT! Nothing is too good.”
Okay, now that I’ve gotten my Serious Friar Philosophy of the Day out of my system….
“If a single butterfly’s wings can change the course of nature…”
OMG! If a buttefly’s wings do THAT….what in God’s Name am I unleashing on the planet when I’m drinking beers with Brett, and I suddenly let one RIP?
(I’m probably causing Monsoons in Bangladesh!)
Friar,
Just point yourself in the right direction before you “let ‘er rip” and you could repel the next hurricane as it bears down on New Orleans…
@ Brett: Excellent thought. I just said something very similar to my sister!
@Friar: Ah! I see. And I agree. It’s how you deal with it that counts.
@Betsy: I second that!!
@Friar: Niiiice. I actually just guffawed! That was hilarious!! AHAHAHAHA!
@Brett: You have a point there, but then what will the methane do?
I thought of that (the methane) – we’ll put methane collectors in the Caribbean, and then use it for fuel cells
Awesome idea!
(Fixed the double posting!)
To steal a line from Forrest Gump (the movie, not the book):
“I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time.”
I think we should always take the power of choice and use it. Whether we like the choices we are presented with or not. As you said, the choice is ours and we should most certainly not let others choose how we live our lives.
Be well.
Ian: Goes well with your post on inaction today, doesn’t it?
@Brett
I just have to use my Powers wisely.
I dont’ want to cause a flood, and drown little Bhupinder in India.
(Little Timmy would be minus a pen-pal!)
Ah, choices. So true Steph, so true. It is not easy when you find yourself with results you did not want and have to face the truth that you got them because you chose. Not easy but a lesson that helps us to be conscious, intentional in the future. Cheers to choices!
Great comment, Karen. You’re right about learning to become more mindful and intentional. I didn’t even think of that. But that’s exactly what I aim for. I just keep forgetting.
Steph, that was a good post, but the ripostes in the comments were great fun! I just hope Friar’s “butterfly effect” doesn’t cause a storm in the Rockies.
To me a cubicle is where the sit-down toilet is in the men’s washroom. I’ve never worked in an office-cubicle environment – by very deliberate choice.
Great post, Steph, and great comments too. I could apply any/all of what’s been written here to T’s current situation at work (except maybe the posts about farting).
His work life is highly toxic, he knows he needs to change it, but somehow the path of least resistance is simply to offload the blame – whether it’s onto his boss, his team, me (for convincing him to take the job in the first place) or some formless faceless Fate Monster that’s somehow out to get him.
Of course, the obvious answer is to dig out the steel-capped boots and start kicking that Fate Monster, and don’t stop until it gives in. Easier said than done, though…
@ Beth: Me too! Or anywhere else. Beer farts can be pretty deadly. My brother-in-law has cleared out a campsite with his!
@ Alex: LOL! And good for you! Me too. I’ve never worked in a cubicle environment. Nor will I.
@ Hx: Maybe if T began farting at work…
Just kidding!
He sounds as though he’s in the same position as Colin. But I’m sad for T because I thought working for a gaming company would be the best fun! Is he not looking at all to find something else? Perhaps you could job search and just send him the links. He’ll get the hint…and talk around, there might be someone who is looking or knows someone who is looking for a person. Once he gets down to it, it’s not all that bad, the applying and such. Like anything, it’s getting started that’s hard. But if he could have hope, if he could believe that he will find something much better…. Right now it seems he’s making it harder in his mind than it is. Yet, it’s also his mindset he has to change, I think.
T sounds stuck in a victim outlook. And I totally know how hard it is to change one’s outlook or get proactive. While the job sucks, it’s more or less secure, isn’t it. It’s more uncomfortable to have to find something else. But if he could see that if he continues to do the same not only does it affect the whole family but he will only get more of the same….
Is there anyone who can help him?
Okay…it took me a while to notice.
But that poor butterfly…about to be swallowed by that Tsunami…he’s SCREWED!
(THAT’LL teach him to beat his wings, and mess with Mother Nature!)
So what’s the message here, Friar? That if you screw with mother nature she comes back to bite you in the ass?
@Steph
The message is:
“It’s NOT NICE to fool Mother Nature!”
(Okay…you’re too young to get the reference, but that was from a Chiffon margarine commercial from the 1970′s!)
heh. Funny how that stuck in my brain for 30 years, and I just thought of it now.
Hey now, I was around in the 70s (born in ’74), just not too conscious of TV commercials. In fact, even while I was growing up, Dad blacked out commercials or changed the channel, afraid of their influence. SIGH!
That’s quite the tagline if it stuck with you that long!
Hey Steph, what are you wearing?
BrettHead: Jeans with a hole in them…in the knee.
So true, Steph.
I think everything happens for a reason, too — obstacles are really challenges, and challenges, opportunities.
It’s usually the hard stuff that rouses us, anyway.
Em
Em, you are 100% right!
Amen to that. I’m all about thinking ourselves out of bad situations, even when that thinking requires drastic creative action.
Oktober: ESPECIALLY when drastic creative action is required! Sometimes, as hard as it is, that kind of change is super exciting to me! The more mundane my life becomes, the more drastic I dream…the more I want to push and overcome fear and doubt…
(Welcome!)
GREAT post. I’m divided about the quote. Some things and opportunities really can be stopped due to others’ actions. But I think it’s our choice as to whether we let those things stop us or if we seek new options and opportunities. Sometimes things happen that aren’t our choosing & we can’t do anything about it. But we CAN choose to move on and bring something good from it, even if it’s not what we originally dreamed or wanted… Does that make sense?
Steph: It makes TOTAL sense, and I think you’re absolutely right!