So I’m powerwalking to work this morning, same route as always so I’m pretty much on autopilot, and I suddenly realize that every morning or afternoon, whatever my shift, I’m always rushing, literally (and I always arrive ten minutes early), to a job I can’t even stand to get to, or get up for. One I dread every night. I found this silly and at the same time depressing. I don’t want to be a character in a Coupland book!! That’s even worse than being a Dilbert character. At least both authors see the humour in the situation.
I know I’m here for a reason, not least because I can’t leave because I need the money and nothing in BellVegas will pay me more than what I make now, not even prostituting. Unless maybe if I were from Quebec. I’m not sure whether I’m here to meet people I can help, or understand and apply some lesson I’m supposed to get, or what. Whatever it is, I’m impatient to move on, because I know my purpose is not to be assaulted on a daily basis by such a stench of unwashed humans, lack of ambition, and stupidity. My gr. 8 teacher used to say that things are not boring, people are. So Belleville, then, is chock full of unimaginative, boring people. How do I know this? Because they come to the library every day, looking for distraction, crap fiction, and unnecessarily long and mindnumbing communication with staff. Most of the staff go for it – they’re achingly boring themselves. But some of us simply can’t. My eyes shift away, probably glaze over, and try as I might to be polite, I find myself ending the conversation by looking ultrabusy (meaning shifting papers and straightening pens) while trying to suppress the urge to kill myself.
I read an article from a British paper stating that librarians were the most stressed workers in England. Something like that. The trouble was that they were not only underpaid but also completely unstimulated. Firefighters, police, and such were actually much happier with their jobs, and less stressed.
Librarians ‘suffer most stress’
Working in libraries has been commonly thought a stress-free job. Fighting fires may sound taxing, chasing criminals demanding, but a new study says that working in a library is the most stressful job of all.
Librarians are the most unhappy with their workplace, often finding their job repetitive and unchallenging, according to psychologist Saqib Saddiq. He will tell the British Psychological Society that one in three workers suffer from poor psychological health. [Egad, no! This is evident already, isn't it? Damaged patrons leads to damaged staff, I told you!] The study surveyed nearly 300 people drawn from five occupations. They were firefighters, police officers, train operators, teachers and librarians and were intended to cover the spectrum, with the librarians first-thought to be the least stressful occupation.
Unchallenging, repetitive
The research, being presented at a society conference in Glasgow, looked at nine “stressors”, such as how much control workers thought they had over their working day, their workload and how much they earned.
It also looked at absenteeism, job satisfaction and whether work stress spilled over into their private life.
Librarians complained about their physical environment, saying they were sick of being stuck between book shelves all day, as well as claiming their skills were not used [especially when given jobs that are completely unrelated to one's department and when operating with less than half of what should be the budget...] and how little control they felt they had over their career. They were also more likely than other professions to be absent from work. [Hmmm, now there's an idea...] Mr Saddiq urged all employers to tackle the problem of stress. “Although these findings seem strange at first, they actually show how insidious stress can be, and how it can have an unhealthy impact in any organisation,” he said. “Firefighters and police are trained to deal with the stresses that their jobs undoubtedly entail; librarians and school teachers are less likely to have these support systems in place. “In addition, stress impacts different personalities in different ways, and different personalities may be drawn to different roles.” “Stress is about control. The less control you have over your workload the more stressed you will become.”
Okay, I found this interesting, if only because it seemed to prove what I was thinking and trying to convey. One’s immediate reaction after reading this might be to say, well, change careers, or think differently about your job. Advocates of positive thinking and the like would say that we create our own hell.
I struggle with this, although I do understand it. Perhaps it’s that I am wholly accountable for all my experiences that is the greatest stressor of all: I have the power to choose to change everything, but I don’t seem strong enough in mind to do it. And then I think, but I have no control over the people in this town. They are choosing not to shower or have any social graces. You counter, but you are attracting them to you. I counter, no, the library is attracting them, not me. Or else I’d be ruining it for everyone here. Or, we’re all of the same mind and are collectively attracting difficult patrons. But I did not wake up one morning, sit at my other job (freelance editing), and say to myself, this job is shit. But not shitty enough. I need something shittier, so I’m going to work in the library, for the general public, making a significant amount less than what I make now, and a significant percentage less than all other Ontario library workers of my status doing my job…and so on.
No, when I thought of applying at the library, I was thinking I needed a regular paycheque. Freelancing wasn’t cutting it for our student debtload. The library is the highest paying place in Belleville that is not a factory, and it is at least related to what I love: books and literacy. Although I have nothing to do with that now since my job as a reader’s advisor has morphed into Internet Monkey, such that I spend all my time getting people on and off the computers, monitoring usage, telling them the time, even though they are sandwiched by clocks and are wearing a watch, babysitting, fixing computer issues, taking constant shit from patrons who have no idea how to use the computers and blame me for their mistakes, ad nauseum.
I want to put up a huge sign that says:
We can get you on the internet and kick you off, but otherwise this is strictly a self-help public service. We do not help you win groceries, remember your email password, teach you how to download porn, show you how to print boarding passes, find you a date on Plenty of Fish or help you come up with/type cheesy come-on lines, handle email account problems, create email accounts, program how MSN Hotmail looks, find RVs/apts/jobs/Reader’s Digest contests, or type in your messages on MSN. Any further ridiculous requests warrant you a suspension for minimum one year. Thank you, come again!
I was determined to get this job because I needed the money and I craved change. I got it. I wasn’t in any way expecting it to be nearly as bad as it is. I wasn’t expecting it to be bad at all, in fact! But this is quite possibly the worst job I’ve had. I’m out to change that, of course, becoming a financial planner. My business application was approved and I now have my own profile! But this blog entry is to have nothing to do with that today. This is an “I’m frustrated and impatient” blog. Sometimes it just feels good to get pissed off. Especially after I was just told I’m have a day’s pay knocked off my next cheque because they accidentally gave me a lieu day back in spring. RrrrrOOAARRRRRRRR!!!!!
There. I feel marginally better.
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